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Not-So-Speedy Dressage

From Endurance to Dressage

I Am Not That Important

4/17/2015

 
And how grateful I am to have learned that lesson. I know I am loved, but I am just not as necessary as I would have myself believe. The over-achievers and type A people out there will know just what I am talking about. We like to do things ourselves, make the decisions, solve our own problems. Most of the time, that works, but occasionally, even the most awesome of awesome people need a break.

I've had a trying last couple of weeks, so it's a bit of a relief to realize that it is not actually my responsibility to be in charge of everything. 
Picture
I've been pretty sick this week which is unusual. I've been so sick that I haven't been to the barn since Monday. I go to the barn every day. Not just most of the time. All of the time. Since Izzy arrived in January, there have only been a handful of days that I haven't seen him, and most of those days happened this week.

It has killed me to not check on my horses. I (erroneously) feel that if I don't make an appearance, my horses will wither away and die. Without me, they will be lonely and miserable. No one can clean their poop or look them over for new bumps and scrapes as well as I do. In short, they need me.

It turns out, that while they do need me, they will survive without my presence. I received three texts yesterday (other boarder, barn owner, next door neighbor who feeds) all verifying that my horses were still alive and doing well. It was actually a relief to know that I can be sick and that the world will not stop spinning because of it.

The Divine clearly needed to impress upon me that while I am very important as a human being and that my presence here on Earth is noticed, I am not THAT important. One lesson was not enough.

Just like I feel that my horses can't make it without me, I feel the same way about my students. I missed school on Tuesday and Wednesday and was absolutely certain that my students had either caused a riot or forgot everything they've learned this year - state testing begins on Monday. And to make matters worse, they had a different substitute teacher each day which almost guarantees chaos.

So even though I was feeling pretty crappy, I dragged myself to work on Thursday morning so that I could mop up the carnage and plan for the afternoon and Friday. Teaching is one of those jobs where being gone means your life really sucks when you get back to work. 

Imagine my surprise when I read the notes left by the substitutes. BOTH of them thanked me for allowing them to be in my classroom. They both felt that this was the best fifth grade class they had ever worked in, and one even said that my class made teaching fun!

Wow. Just wow.

Again, I was shown that I am not so important that the world will crash without my presence. Reading those notes gave me such a feeling of peace and relief. I don't have to do everything myself.  

I arranged for yet another substitute to do the second half of Thursday and all of today. I don't know how the day will go, but I am not going to worry about it. They'll get through the day without me. I also really want to go to the barn today, but if I don't make it out there this afternoon, I am going to trust that the Divine has things under control. 

The sky will not fall if I spend one more day on the couch. I'll talk to you all later - Netflix and I have a date (we've gotten pretty chummy this week).
emma link
4/17/2015 02:36:50 am

great perspective. i struggle to let go of that control too - but am always oddly relieved when things keep chugging along during my absence haha

Lauren link
4/17/2015 02:37:02 am

Feel better!

lytha
4/17/2015 03:23:14 am

I just held this laptop over my husband's shoulder so he could read what you said. In this land, an illness such as a cold is mostly excused by doctors for 3-5 days, with a note. Germans have a way of predicting how long they'll be ill, or predicting a buffer zone around that time. It's uncanny. This is because they're the hypochondriacs of the world. (Non-teachers get 30 paid days off per year, plus unlimited hypochondriac days. I loved that.)

Wonderful that you have some super 5th graders this year. Hope you can instill it in them to stay hard at work for the upper classes.

Please tell us some stories of the funniest examples of students cheating off each other's work. I love those!

Teachers these days have it so incredibly difficult. No one seems to understand this.

Sarah link
4/17/2015 08:44:07 am

Hope you feel better soon!!


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    About the Writer and Rider

    ​I am a lifelong rider. 
    I began endurance riding in 1996 where I ultimately completed five, one-day 100 mile races, the 200-mile Death Valley Encounter, and numerous other 50, 65, and 75 mile races. I began showing dressage in 2010.
    ​Welcome to my dressage journey.
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    About Speedy G

    ​Speedy went from endurance horse to dressage horse. After helping me earn a USDF Bronze medal in the summer of 2020, he is now semi-retired. Speedy is a 2004, 15'1 hand, purebred Arabian gelding. His Arabian Horse Registry name is G Ima Starr FA.
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    About Izzy

    Izzy was started as a four-year old and then spent the next 18 months in pasture growing up. I bought him as a six-year old, and together, we are showing at the lower levels. He is a 2008, 16'3 hand warmblood gelding. His Rheinland Pfalz-saar International (RPSI) name is Imperioso.
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Among other things, Karen is a Wife, Friend, Reader, Writer, Rider, Traveler, and Dog Lover
Contact her at bakersfielddressage@gmail.com
  • Home
  • About
  • My Horses
    • Horses
    • Imperioso
    • G Ima Starr FA
    • Sunshine
    • Nakota and Gideon
    • Corky
    • Sassy
    • Montoya DSA
    • Mickey Dee
    • Sydney
  • Show Results
    • 2022
    • 2021
    • 2020
    • 2019
    • 2018
    • 2017
    • 2016
    • 2015
    • 2014
    • 2013
    • 2012
    • 2011
    • 2010
  • Dressage Organizations
    • Dressage Organizations
    • Memberships
    • 2019 Dressage Tests
  • Local
    • Shopping List
  • Home