Feeling Good

Well boy howdy do I ever wish I had gotten all of that off my chest before yesterday. I feel so much better! Admitting any kind of weakness or failure is a tough thing for me to do. I have plenty of weaknesses that I could share, and my failures are frequently published and available for public perusal, but it's embarrassing to talk about them.

After my little admission though, I was brought to tears more than once by the confidence boosting anecdotes and words of encouragement that filled my Facebook page and comments section. Apparently, everyone has felt humiliated and untalented at some point in their riding journey. I had no idea!

My favorite Speedy blooper - these are actually quite rare!

Armed with a go get 'em, girl attitude, I trekked out to the barn in the 180 bazillion degree afternoon and hosed Speedy off before I saddled him up; it was truly summer time hot. I pushed out the negative thoughts and decided to just have fun because really, how much work can you do when it's 900 degrees?

If this were a movie, you could predict what would happen next: the soundtrack would begin and uplifting music would swell as the horse and rider perform movements as if by magic. Okay. It wasn't that good, but Speedy and I had a very productive ride.

Since it was so danged hot, I decided to keep things slow and easy. We worked on our turn on the haunches, and to my delight the good way got better, and the bad way felt scorable.

One thing that I did take away from the clinic was that my lack of an adequate sitting trot is my fault. With no one watching me ride on a daily basis, I've just not worked on it. At all. Over the past two weeks, I decided that it is something I can fix, so I've added at least ten minutes of practice when I ride Speedy. And of course, it's getting better.

Hey! She can actually sit!

Not only is my sitting trot improving, but it's allowing me to communicate with Speedy more effectively. Besides just sitting there last night, I asked him to work on his canter departures. Instead of fiddling with him, I worked on keeping my butt plugged into the saddle during the downward transitions. Intellectually, I know how important my seat aids are, but actually feeling them work is another story.

Chemaine is always encouraging me to lift Speedy's withers with my seat, but I never quite had the feeling before. I do now! That little dude can really pull things off when I do my part. We had some pretty darned good walk to canter to walk moments on both leads. Well hallelujah!

Yesterday, someone told me to remember why I am riding. For all of us, I am sure the reason we ride is for the love of the horse. While I rode yesterday, I never once thought about my inadequacies. I simply enjoyed the process of learning and teaching.

When I slid off Speedy's back, I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my face in his mane. There might have been a sniffle or two, but there was also a feeling of extreme gratitude. 

Man I love horses!