Not-So-Speedy Dressage
From Endurance to Dressage
Pre-publish edit ... After writing this, I read a great article in Dressage Today. One line stood out above all the others. It is my new mantra: "The rider's goal should be improvement, not perfection." - Lilo Fore Unfortunately, it wasn't that kind of equine therapy. What was I just saying the other day about jinxing myself? I must have sent some bad juju out there as last Wednesday's lesson didn't go very well. When I showed up at JL's barn, I had several things I wanted to work on, but somewhere during the lesson, I had a mental meltdown. No matter what I tried, I couldn't make things work, and Speedy wouldn't help. I just wasn't getting it. We finished the lesson with some really crappy serpentine loops. By this point in the lesson, I had whacked Speedy a few times with the whip, hauled his butt to a stop with a hard pull of the outside rein, and whaled on his side with my inside leg. He was pissed. Nothing I was doing was effective. I felt like a complete failure, and in my disappointment, I heard, you are a terrible rider. No need to come back. I walked Speedy back to our barn with a very heavy heart. I put him away and saddled Sydney. I managed to do a ten minute ride before admitting that my head wasn't in the game, and I was doing him a disservice. I pulled his saddle and let the tears come. If you've been reading my blog for any length of time, you already know that I am particularly hard on myself. I work diligently to improve but am easily frustrated when I don't get something, and above all else, I hate to disappoint. As I was leaving my own barn toward home, I decided I needed to talk to JL about it. If she really was that disappointed in my effort, I was afraid she might boot me off the fall schedule. Here's where the equine therapy started. Admitting to JL that I had really tried my best but was still unsuccessful was very hard to do. Immediately the tears began to flow. I told her how frustrated I was with myself and admitted that I was worried that she was going to kick me off the schedule for being such a poor student. A very lengthy conversation ensued, and it was nothing about schedules. We talked about sports psychology and how our inner baggage is what prevents us from being successful in the ring and in life. She shared some of her own personal struggles and what she is doing to keep her focus while riding and teaching. In the end, she helped me see that my frustration at myself comes from a far deeper place than just having a bad ride. Various fears and the need to be good enough drive me to work so hard. In the end, we agreed on some code words so that when she needs to push me harder but sees me start to check out mentally, she can help me refocus. JL helped me see that she is genuinely rooting for my success and is happy to help me get there. And she reassured me that she has no intention of letting me go. Whew - that's a relief! I wanted to share this post before my show report because recognizing that I don't need to be perfect helped turn what could have been a crappy show day into a fun day with some really nice people. More on that tomorrow, promise.
Karen
8/7/2012 06:14:50 am
Kelly RGF - it's not that I don't want an actual dressage trainer. I just can't find one who is willing to work with me regularly at a price that is within my budget. I work full time and can't really commit to a lesson every Saturday either. That wouldn't be fair to my husband. We like to go to the cabin, shopping, etc. An every weekend lesson would certainly cut into our married life time. There are no trainers within a 20 - 30 minute drive of my barn either. That means regular week-night lessons would get me home closer to 9:00 once a week. It would kill me.
I had always assumed there were lots of instructors around you - I forget how big and diverse the US is. One day I will be there, and would LOVE to have a lesson with JL! You are good to be so considerate of your husband and marriage ... it's something I've learnt a bit more about in the 2.5 years we've been married :).
Karen
8/8/2012 04:52:32 am
Kelly RGF - before I start accumulating the 0s and 1s, I'd like to get some 9s and 10s first! I have some 8s, but that's the highest I've earned. I am willing to wait a bit before earning those missing low scores.
Val
8/7/2012 09:24:06 am
I was watching some Olympic dressage online today. I was surprised that riders at that level receive the occasional 5, 4, and even 3! I watched a beautiful line of flying changes with one change that wasn't clean and the rider earned several fours. I was surprised at first, but then I realized that everything is relative and perfection is unattainable, even for the best in the world, so improvement sounds like a great thing to strive for!
Karen
8/7/2012 09:52:31 am
I love this! Thank you so much for sharing, Val. I've been catching what I can of the equestrian events, but I missed today's dressage. I've been hearing scores of 8, 9, and even 10. To hear that even the best earn an occasional 3 is so encouraging. Not that they like earning those scores, but hey, if even the best of the best fail, what right do I have to think I can earn only "high" marks. By the way I got my first 2 on Sunday! :0) 9/12/2012 05:41:35 pm
I can imagine how emotional it was for you… but, having that kind of relief in the end can really make anyone feel better like you. Well, it’s not that typical equine therapy, yes… but it all happened all because of your frustrations from the horse. It’s like an equine therapy, still. I hope you and Speedy are doing great now!
Karen
9/12/2012 10:16:25 pm
All is well! Dressage is certainly an endless journey: sometimes exhilarating, often times humbling, but always worth it. Thanks for visiting. :0) Comments are closed.
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About the Writer and RiderI am a lifelong rider.
I began endurance riding in 1996 where I ultimately completed five, one-day 100 mile races, the 200-mile Death Valley Encounter, and numerous other 50, 65, and 75 mile races. I began showing dressage in 2010. Welcome to my dressage journey. About Speedy GSpeedy went from endurance horse to dressage horse. After helping me earn a USDF Bronze medal in the summer of 2020, he is now semi-retired. Speedy is a 2004, 15'1 hand, purebred Arabian gelding. His Arabian Horse Registry name is G Ima Starr FA.
About IzzyIzzy was started as a four-year old and then spent the next 18 months in pasture growing up. I bought him as a six-year old, and together, we are showing at the lower levels. He is a 2008, 16'3 hand warmblood gelding. His Rheinland Pfalz-saar International (RPSI) name is Imperioso.
National Rider AwardsState Rider Awards
State Horse Awards
Working Towards:
CDS Sapphire Rider Award Third Level: 63.514% Third Level: 62.105% Fourth Level: Fourth Level: 2023 Show Season
Show Rating (***) CDS/USDF/USEF (*) CDS (s) Schooling (c) Clinic (r) Ride-a-Test Clinic 2023 Show Schedule
TBD 2023 Completed … Pending 2023 Qualifying Scores
Regional Adult Amateur Competition (RAAC) Qualifying Training Level 3 Scores/2 Judges/60%: Score 1: Score 2: Score 3: Archives
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