I have a hard time saying goodbye. When I connect, it tends to be for a very long time. This week, I had to say goodbye to a very good friend.

Sadly, I bid adieu to my last endurance saddle. It wasn't like I was ever going to really use it again, but having it helped me feel connected to a part of my life that was in many ways, defining. Not to be melodramatic, but riding your horse for 100 miles in one day does things to you.

It changes you. It changes the relationship you have with your horse. Doing three of them in a single year gives you a sense of what you're made of like not much else can. You're a bad ass; you rock; you're part of a very elite group.

And then a week passes and you're just a horse crazy lady who spends way too much time in the saddle.

I am not that crazy lady any more; my husband would disagree. He doesn't understand that I am a different kind of crazy lady now - there's a difference. So that saddle just had to go. I've been thinking about selling it for several years now, but I just didn't have a need for the money. Now I do.

Sydney's stall is empty. I like to think it's just resting, gathering energy for it's next occupant. Yep. I am on the hunt for my next equine partner. I dig the Speedy pony, but I need two horses to love and share. One just doesn't fill me up enough.

I posted the saddle at endurance.net, and within three days it sold to a NATRC rider in Tennessee. I hope it finds a good life with her. While I enjoyed the saddle and am certainly sad to see it go, the money will be used to pad my new horse savings account.

Happy trails to you, endurance saddle. Keep your next rider as safe and comfortable as you did me.

Have you seen this recent article by David Ramey, DVM? While I like the guy (a lot), I have to disagree with his opinion on the efficacy of chiropractic adjustments. I know I feel better after an adjustment, and I know my horses feel better; I can see it on their faces.

The day Sydney left, Speedy ran like a wild man during turn out. The next day, he was obviously sore in his hind-end and over his back. I rode him lightly at a walk around the neighborhood for the next few days, but I figured an adjustment might help speed things along, so I had the chiropractor out on Sunday.

It took a solid hour of work before Speedy got that sleepy look on his face. The whole time the chiropractor worked, Speedy fussed and resisted and was just not getting the relief we were hoping for. My chiropractor worked his jaw, his poll, his neck, his ribs, his pelvis … and still, there was something hung up. 

The chiropractor finally put Speedy back in his stall so that he could use the fence as a barrier for Speedy's sidestepping hips. He got Speedy to relax just a little bit more, and suddenly I heard a satisfying pop from his neck. Instantly, Speedy's face got soft. his lips drooped, and he got very doe-eyed. The chiropractor finally found the last little spot that was bugging Speedy.

I rode him again the next day, and he still ever-so-slightly stiff. In truth, he might have been sound, but I tend to be hyper sensitive to every footfall when there has been an issue. I did add some trot work out in the field near the end of the ride, and he felt pretty good out there.

I don't let myself worry about this kind of stuff, especially when he gets visibly better each day. As a precaution, I did cancel my Monday lesson; no point in overdoing it. I'll work him lightly throughout the rest of the week so that by this weekend, he should be back to fighting trim.

Yah for expensive, if not proven, therapies!

There's not much that I don't own horse-wise, but every time I start to think that there is nothing in the catalog that I need or want, I manage to find something else.

Leathers have never been one of my favorite pieces of equipment. I've even tended toward the synthetics because they don't stretch like real leathers do. On the flip side, they also tend to be thicker and harder to punch holes in. My most recent leathers are from SmartPak. They have holes spaced at ¾" inch increments, which I love, but they are thick. They are leather on the outside with a nylon lining.

I've been interested in the Webbers (Bates/Wintec), but I figured they had to be weird and clunky. (If they're so great why isn't everyone use them?) I had the chance recently to ride in a pair and while they are a bit awkward to get to length, I completely forgot about them once I was in the saddle.

Getting a chance to try them out sealed the deal. I decided to order a pair. The Bates version is similar to my SmartPak leathers - leather outside with a webbing core. They run around $75.

Riding Warehouse, my favorite online store and somewhat local tack shop, carries the Wintec Webbers for under $33.00. I was hoping that the Wintec Webbers would be thinner than the leather/webbing combo of the Bates, so that's what I went with.

Since Webbers are only one thickness they don't hang over your stirrup bars like regular leathers do. There is a loop at the top that slides over your stirrup bars. It was easy to do and seems just as secure as with typical leathers.

One complaint I've heard about using Webbers is the inability to run up your leathers. While it's not as convenient as with standard leathers, the Wintec Webbers do come with a hole near the top of the leathers that allow you to hang your stirrups in a very short position and then they can be run up.

Quite a ways below the "run up" hole are the holes for inserting the "T" that holds the stirrup to the right length. You just slide the "T" into the slot, turn, and the leathers are set.

There is a leather "cap" that slides down and covers the "T" and probably serves to hold things more securely in place. 

With no buckle under your thigh and only one layer of leather, the Webbers really are more comfortable. It wasn't that I was bugged before, but the instant I sat in my saddle, I noticed how much smoother my thigh rested against the saddle. These really are an improvement over standard leathers. 

Let the flow of cash begin! Horse ownership is already a pricey venture. If you want to show, be prepared to fork over serious cash. And if you want to be recognized by the sanctioning bodies with even a certificate, just hand over your wallet.

Now that Speedy and I have left Training Level for a level that at least bears a number, low as it is, I am considering upping some of my memberships and adding others. I am seriously goal oriented; if there is a pin, certificate, or patch to be earned, my name is all over it. But after adding up what it would cost to earn the afore mentioned pins, certificates, and patches, I had to do some thinking.

Renewing with USEF is first. That membership is $55.00. Speedy already has a USEF Horse ID, but not his Horse Recording number ($200 for a lifetime number or $75 for an annual number). Having Speedy recorded with USEF just means we would be eligible for Horse of the Year and could compete at the USEF Championship. Eh … not interested. We'll stick with just having a regular membership.

USEF - $55.00

Next comes the USDF membership. I've always just gone with the Group Membership (free if I join my GMO) because we haven't been good enough to compete in the USDF Region 7 Championship. I also haven't been too worried about breed awards either. Group Membership allows you to participate in the Rider Award Program, which includes the medals, as well as all USDF shows. 

This year, I am interested in some of the awards that the Arabian Horse Association offers, but I would need to be a Participating Member with USDF ($75) and Speedy would need his Lifetime Horse Registration number which would be a one-time upgrade fee of $70.00.

USDF - $145.00 or $0.00

And of course, I have to join my GMO, the California Dressage Society. I get most of my recognition from this organization. CDS offers all sorts of programs. This year, I took advantage of all of them: AA Clinic, RAAC, Championship, Rosettes (scores for my plaque), and I even submitted my name for the Henry Buchard Trophy (not likely, but still …). Joining CDS is $65 annually with no costs for Speedy.

CDS - $65.00

I am also considering joining DASC, a much smaller GMO that serves Southern California. The only real benefit to joining that group is to be able to compete in their championship show, but I've heard rumors that there might not be one this year. Joining DASC is $60.00 annually with an accompanying $10.00 for Speedy.

DASC - $70.00

And finally, there is a little pin that I wouldn't mind earning from the Arabian Horse Association (AHA). Getting it though (not guaranteed), would cost a whole lot more than the pin is worth. Joining AHA costs $40.00 with an additional $35.00 tacked on if I want my competition card. Speedy is already registered as a purebred Arabian, so he doesn't need a membership.

AHA runs their awards program in an à la carte fashion. If you want to participate in the particular program, you pay for it only. I think this is a way to bilk their membership though. If I am already a member, and I have also paid for a competition card, why must I now pay extra for the rewards that come with using that card? Sheesh, AHA, squeeze a little harder.

AHA offers three dressage programs: Dressage Rider Award, USDF All Breed Dressage Award, and an Open Qualifying Competions Program. The last one is definitely not for me. To get the little pin from AHA's Rider Award, I have to pay a $45.00 enrollment fee for each level. If I get the pin at First Level, I have to pay again for each level after.

For Speedy to be eligible for the USDF All Breed Award, which is given by USDF, I have to be a PM of USDF, Speedy needs to have a Lifetime Horse Registration number, and then I need to pay AHA a $25 enrollment fee.

AHA $145

If I wanted to be eligible for The AHA stuff, my total membership fees would be $410.00. If I wanted to skip AHA and just do the DASC stuff, it would be $190.00.  If I wanted to do it all … $480.00. That's not going to happen.

The truth is, I just moved to First Level. We probably won't be very competitive this year anyway. I should probably just stick to my regular USEF and CDS memberships. And if I start to feel some money burning a hole in my pocket during the year, I could go ahead and upgrade Speedy's USDF Horse ID to a Lifetime Horse Registration. That way, I wouldn't have to do it in 2016.

This year's membership fees would be $120.00 - easy peasy.

That's usually my problem, not enough outside rein. 

Normally, I take my lessons up at JL's arena, but now that I am only riding Speedy, she's agreed to come down to my arena when needed. Speedy needs long lines now for leg yields and lengthenings. Sydney just needed a good space for 20-meter circles and changes of direction.

I told JL how Speedy swapped leads in the back during the canter work at the schooling show, especially returning to working canter from the lengthening. Chemaine had said the problem was because I didn't have my outside leg back far enough to keep his haunches in. JL agreed.

JL asked me to show her the movement that was causing us so much trouble. The cross-firing happened after we lengthened and "tried" to return to working canter in the corner before leaving the second corner to cross the diagonal (KXM - change rein, X - working trot). That corner becomes a 45 degree angle and it's hard to make while galloping like a lunatic.

In reality, we've done that same corner at Training Level, but the added difficulty is that we now have to get back to a working canter from the lengthening.

Of course, when I showed her the turn that I have to make, Speedy did it more or less just fine, but we didn't do it with the canter lengething first. This told me a lot. It's not the turn so much as getting control of his rear end in a working canter.

To address the issue, JL had me pick up a canter, and then instructed me to ride the smallest canter circle I could with a bit of counter bend. Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner! All of a sudden I felt what I needed to do to make the turn more effectively. I had been so worried about the inside bend that I had dropped the outside aids (rein and leg).

We rode the corner a few times with a slight counter bend so that I could get a good feel for how much outside aid I would need, then we added in the canter lengthening. We made the corner with no lead swapping. AHA!

Chemaine gave me several things to think about this month. I think that getting Speedy's canter slower and more balanced is going to go a long way toward improving our scores. With a more balanced canter, our 15-meter canter circle and the lengthenings will definitely get better.

Given how great I felt about Test 1, Test 2's recap should leave you in stitches. Well, it would have if anything disastrous had happened, but nothing did. I was actually able to pull it all together and put out what at least felt like a better ride.

I got much stronger with my outside aids and kept those 15-meter canter circles a bit better under control. Speedy still swapped leads after the canter lengthenings, but after talking with Chemaine, I know why and have even "fixed" it for now, thanks to a Monday lesson with JL. I love how my trainers work together from afar even though they've never even met. I am surrounded by such great people.

Test 2 is very similar to Test 1, but there is an added element - the leg yield. These are fairly basic so nothing horrible happened, but we do need to get straighter. We earned a 6.0 for each leg yield, but with the trailing haunches comment, I know the score would have been lower at a rated show (see yesterday's soap box).

We did earn two 8s which, while maybe not truly worthy of an 8, were still very solid movements. The judge liked both our canter to trot transition at X and our walk to trot at C. These should be good movements for us as they come straight out of Training Level. I'll take the scores though as we worked hard on those two elements all year.

It's hard to compare one test to another as Test 2 has eighty more points than Test 1. Either way, we did improve our percentage on the second test with a 64.05% (63.79% on Test 1). This is a big deal for us as we typically score lower on the "harder" test. 

Speedy was pretty fired up for Test 1 which hurt our canter score. During the warm-up for the second test, he was being quite the stinker so Chemaine offered to get on him and school him a bit. She worked his little butt hard, insisting that he soften and pay attention. He was pretty cranky when I got back on, but he was a better listener.

This is totally off the subject, but I was secretly relieved that Speedy G didn't look and work fabulously for Chemaine. He was a butt head for her too which tells me that it's not necessarily me that's causing the problem; he just needs more work. Granted, if she rode him every day, he would look fabulous, but it's not like I am wrecking my horse.

Back to the subject at hand … I had a great time at this schooling show. In the morning, I retrieved tests from the judge and ran them back to the show secretary. It's always fun to volunteer, if only for a little bit. I also hung out with a couple of friends whom I adore (Valerie and Sarah - you ladies are AWESOME!). I even tried out a horse who is for sale. The property owner gave me a short "lesson" on him which was totally fabulous.

While I love the challenge and charged atmosphere that comes with a rated show, it sure was fun to dink around at a schooling show. Hopefully I'll be able to hit one or two more before we need to get back to the rated shows.

I am actually glad I've had a few days to think about Sunday's schooling show before writing about it. Had I sat down to write on Sunday evening, you would have heard a much different version. After some reflection, I am actually far happier with how it went than I was a day ago.

Brief Soap Box moment coming …

I know I am going to offend some people here, but I have to say it. The scores at a schooling show are easily 5% to 15% higher than what they would be at a USDF show. I won my RAAC class (a smallish USDF show) with a 72.6%. Just a few weeks later at the CDS Championship show (a HUGE USDF show), I squeaked out a 62%. Both rides were very similar, and scores were fair. Scores are simply much harder to get when the stakes are higher. 

So while I smile at my scores from this schooling show, they don't mean diddly squat to a rider (me) who has her sights set on USDF awards and recognition. There is no way my 63% and 64% would ever hold up at a USDF show. I am greatly encouraged, but I know I would be looking at a 55% at a rated show.

I will climb down from the soap box now.

My very good pal, Sarah (of Eventing in Color fame), was kind enough to shoot a bunch of snapshots for me. I didn't get to look at them until this morning. Usually, I cringe at the crappiness of my position and where Speedy's body is going. This time, I only deleted one shot immediately. The rest, I studied and decided that while none of them were fantastic, they also weren't as bad as the ride felt.

The test, First Level, Test 1, started out great. We earned an 8.0 for our halt and a very lovely 7.0 for those fun 10-meter half circles at X. 

The trot lengthening wasn't grand, but it was enough to squeeze out a 6.0. The judge liked our medium walk, 7.5 but from there, things started to go a bit downhill.

To say the canter work was a disaster would be putting it mildly. Speedy decided it was mach 12 or nothing. And to make it even more impressive, he decided to show the judge that he could cross canter. I have no idea where that came from as he has never done that before in his life. I think it even surprised him.

The judge should have given us a slew of 3s and 4s, but instead, she gifted us with 5s for our canter work even though he was swapping leads behind the whole way through his 15-meter canter circle. I love this next picture though. 

He has clearly fallen on the forehand and is running through my hand, but I am just sitting there as Zen as ever. That's Chemaine's description of my riding. I NEVER panic during a test, and no matter how bad it goes, I just keep on going as though nothing horrendous has just happened.

I also love this next photo from our first lengthening at the canter. I either gave him way too strong of a half halt, or else he was rocking back ready to launch forward. It may not be great form, but it shows that he can get back on his rear end!

I also like this photo as we came across the diagonal ready to trot at X. Again, nothing is perfect, but the dude is starting to shorten his frame and my position is getting stronger - I've quit leaning forward at least.

The judge was really kind in her scoring, which I appreciate, but the score would have been far lower at a rated show. We earned a 63.79% for First Level, Test 1 which was sixth out of six. However, the thing that I like best is that our score was close to the rest of the competitors, even though this was our first time riding First Level. Not too shabby!

The very best thing about this ride is that I truly enjoyed every moment. I laughed at Speedy's run-away gallop down the long side, and I giggled as he swapped leads as we made the turn for X. As long as showing is fun, who cares about the foibles and the disasters. I feel some big improvement in our near future!

I swear I have posts written about Speedy's First Level debut, but yet again Sydney is getting more than his fair show of "air time."

I am just overwhelmed by the many, many positive comments you all have made about my decision to let Sydney go. I wanted to share a few things about that with you.

The day I made the decision to part ways with the big, brown OTTB, I told only my husband. Next, I told my barn owner and shortly after that my trainer. I didn't share on Facebook, and I didn't blog about it until the deed was done.

Over the weekend, I also shared the news with Sarah (Eventing in Color) because I knew she wouldn't gossip about my decision and her feedback would be honest. 

I told her that I was dreading having to blog about it because I was certain I was going to get a lot of negative backlash. There are many people who delight in saying I told you so. I also assumed that the comments on my post (assuming there were any) would include the many ways I had failed Sydney and how if I only had done this or that he would have enjoyed his job. 

In a nut shell, I projected my own feelings of inadequacy and failure onto you all. I think I owe you all an apology. Out of twenty comments on the blog and numerous comments on Facebook, not one single person offered anything but hugs and best wishes. Wow. Just … wow. Thank you all for that.

I didn't sell Sydney; he was donated to New Hope Equine, a non-profit. Here is a snippet from their website:

Sydney certainly wasn't unwanted or unused, but I worried about finding a suitable owner for him on my own. He is not a beginner's horse and intermediate or advanced riders are usually looking for a horse who is already going well in their job or for one who is young and green and can be brought into the work correctly. Sydney just didn't meet any of that criteria.

Money was never a factor. Not that I am rich or anything, but having him be placed appropriately was far more import than getting a couple of thousand bucks for him. Debbie and her assistant will evaluate him, school him as needed, and show him to potential riders who have been carefully screened.  I feel enormous relief that I don't have the burden of screening his next owner. Debbie will do a good job.

Back to Speedy. Oh, boy. He is taking Sydney's departure much harder than I thought he would. When I pulled into the barn, he started pacing and whinnying for his friend which I knew would happen. When I didn't open the trailer door however, Speedy became quite upset, mostly with me.

Since he was already throwing a fit in his little run, I thought it would be a good idea to turn him out and let him run off his anxiety. That always helps him. I put front boots on and added bell boots; he tends to whack himself when he runs hard.

After a quick roll, Speedy took off at a tremendous gallop, screaming the entire time. He ran and ran and ran, all the while keeping his eye on the trailer. When it looked as though he had run out of juice. I went into the arena with him and walked around. He loves to follow me while I scratch his back and face. We then went out onto the lawn and hand grazed for a while.

By the time I put him back to bed, he was feeling much better and was eating and looking well.

I saddled him up as usual the next day, Wednesday, and began with some walk to halt transitions. He felt great. As soon as I asked for the trot however, I felt a definite hitch in his giddy-up. He was lame behind. I got off and did a trot in hand to confirm. 

I am pretty sure he just over did things in turn out, so I actually did a walking ride around the neighborhood. He walked out big and easy, and was only lame when I asked for the trot. There is no heat or swelling which leads me to believe it's just a muscle strain.

I have an appointment this afternoon so I won't get to the barn today, which is a good thing for Speedy. He'll get another day of rest. Hopefully he'll work out of whatever this is by the weekend. And truly, I am not worried about it. He was perfectly sound for his lesson on Monday. 

This is just what happens when you get rid of your back up horse! Onward and forward.

Two weeks ago, I had a horrible lesson with Sydney. He spooked, bolted, whirled to the right, and absolutely refused any inside bend to the right. Repeatedly. Eventually, he gave in and softened on the inside rein and walked and trotted past the offensive spot in the arena, but it was very frustrating.

Two days later, we went through the same routine. This time, I asked for a 20-meter trot circle to the left. He simply couldn't do it. I spent forty-five minutes doing every suppling exercise I know, but the only answer he could give was to whirl and bolt. He never got more than a step away, but he kept trying.

Once he was willing to at least walk a ten-meter figure eight, I got off and decided that I was done. Not done with the ride, but done with riding him. Right then and there, I decided to sell him. 

I walked in the door at home and burst into tears. My husband was worried of course, but when I blubbered out that I had decided to sell Sydney, his response was that he had figured that out long ago.

This is the first time in more than 30 years as a horse owner that I couldn't make it work. I've sold two because they couldn't handle the work physically, endurance is hard on horses that way, but it's never been because the horse couldn't handle the job mentally.

JL and I talked about my decision at length. She feels that dressage is simply too stressful for Sydney. I worry that I am just not an educated enough rider for a horse with his high level of anxiety. JL shook her head no to that idea, but still.

In any case, don't all break-ups go that way? It's not you, it's me. 

Yesterday, my best friend in the whole wide world hopped in the truck with me to make the two and a half hour drive to Clovis. Sydney will be with Sport Equine until they can find a more suitable job for him. If you've been following our journey and think that you can give it a go, contact Debbie and go see him. He truly is a sweetheart.

So even though I am incredibly sad, I am even more relieved by the decision. I know it was the right choice, for both of us. 

I am on the lookout for another horse, but my husband has suggested that I wait through the worst of the winter before buying again. So even though I am (kind of) waiting, I am keeping an ear close to the ground in case the right horse crosses my path.

So for now, it's just Speedy and me as we continue with Not-So-Speedy Dressage.

As much as I love riding with Chemaine, lessons also leave me feeling slightly bummed out. It's like getting a tiny nibble of a delicious dessert; I am left wanting the whole thing. If I could ride with her weekly, we'd be so much farther along. Should have, would have, could have … I'll take what I can get and smile.

We worked on several things the afternoon before the show including lengthening the stride at both trot and canter, leg yielding, and the canter departure. All of this work depends on a well-timed half halt, which I do yet possess.

Speedy is quite resistant to any kind of halt unless he is ready to be done. To help Speedy develop more of an interest in the half halt, Chemaine gave me a new exercise to do while warming up. She suggested I do a halt at each letter, but before allowing him to move on, he has to soften and drop his head ever so slightly. From there, I can release a bit while asking him to walk on. I can see that with a bit of practice, not only will our medium walk improve, but he will get much more responsive to my half halt.

After halting at each letter, we moved on to the trot where we only did an almost walk at each letter. This really tested whether he was listening. If he wasn't, I made it a complete halt with the same soften and lower your head request from earlier. This to got him much more respectful of my outside rein.

When we moved on to the lengthen stride at trot, this work at the half halt was integral. As we made the corner, Chemaine had me really get him back on his haunches so that as we left the corner for the lengthen across the diagonal, I had a bunch of energy coiled up ready to release. When I half halted him correctly, there actually was a lengthening of stride. It was the first time that I have been able to ask for the lengthening and get it!

Since I now have established some inside bend (poke him! - as Chemaine would say), making the ten-meter half circles is fairly easy. Speedy still needs a bit more bend, especially to the right, but when I use my outside rein effectively, the ten-meter circles are easy. They are important as they are where the leg yield begins.

I have been schooling that movement, but I wasn't being very effective because my weight aids were a little off. To do the leg yield correctly, I need to turn my shoulders in the direction of the bend, while pushing him away. My tendency has been to turn and look in the direction I was trying to go. Your body should really stay turned like it was for the 10-meter circle. 

Once my shoulders were turned in and my inside seat bone was weighted, we did a pretty decent leg yield.The one thing that we really need to work on is keeping it rhythmical and moving forward. On my score sheet, the judged also noted that Speedy's haunches were trailing.  

The lengthening of stride at canter is not a problem, getting Speedy back to working canter is. This is another place where the half halt needs to be better executed. Chemaine pointed out that there is no reason he can't come back to working canter easily; it's just a gas peddle and the brake. His brake peddle definitely needs some work.

For First Level, my job is going to be improving our half halt. All of a sudden I truly see the value of transitions. You hear all of these things: inside leg to outside hand, more bend, and so on, but until you actually feel something, they are just words. More transitions is no longer just an exercise to do to avoid boredom. I can see that Speedy and I need to do bunches and bunches of them to get him listening to my half halt and expecting the cue to move forward again.

Chemaine showed me several other exercises and gave me other things to work on, but you get the idea. She is great at filling the lesson with lots of new without overwhelming me with everything that needs fixing. For now, working on my half halts will no doubt improve a lot of other things.